Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Randomize
