Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
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