when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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