worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
Randomize