If that was your dad, he is hot
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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