OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
