we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I feel like I'm in an ocean of eels jacking me off
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Facebook stalking ex-girlfriends who went to rehab. This is my life.
The fact that there are multiple ex-girlfriends who have been to rehab concerns me
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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