Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize
