she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
