Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
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