That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Randomize
