He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
