There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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