My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
Well apparently he's into motor boating.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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