thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Randomize
