i barfeds in our rink
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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