I'm at this poker game and this kid to my left is bragging about all the chicks he hits including a "playboy model" when all of a sudden this 22 guy looks him in the eye and says "ever fuck a 70 woman. The things they can and are willing to do" Next think the whole table is quiet for an hour. That guys my hero...
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
ok first of all what the fuck
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
