Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
