Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
