Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
This can only be settled by a dance off.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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