I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
The next time you invite me out to a bar full of cougars warn me first. I never felt like a piece of meat before.
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