you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
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