party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I will be naked everywhere
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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