he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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