Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
