do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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