There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it inappropriate to send a happy 3-year anniversary of having a threesome with you and your ex girlfriend on easter text?
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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