Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
I don't want my vagina anymore.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
