She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
