You're so nebulous sometimes
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
