And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
Randomize
