i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
captain morgan taught me last night that resee's puffs are way better when eaten straight out of the sink.
Farmville is her only friend.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
