let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
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