you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
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