I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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