You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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