I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
Randomize