at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
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