Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
Vodka?
Forever.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
