There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
