My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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