I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Randomize
