no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
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You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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