Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
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