everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
