You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
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