I'm laying in your front yard are you home
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
