i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Randomize
