your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Randomize