return my video game
Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
