You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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