I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
