is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
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