No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
