...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Randomize
