My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me