I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
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my cup is half full, half full of rum.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
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I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement