Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Someone shit on the floor
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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