The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
it hurts more in the daytime
so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar