I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
you traded sex for a burrito?
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
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