You're earring is so big in my mouth
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
I supernannyed him into submission
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.