so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
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i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
You passed out in the bathroom with the door locked. Had to take a shit in your litter box. Don't worry, your cat buried it for me.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
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I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.