What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
