This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
